There is a right way to suffer and a wrong way to suffer.
The wrong way: complain, fight, grouse, sin, accuse God of hating you, hurting you.
The right way: commit yourself to your faithful Creator and continue to do good.
It's not a very satisfying answer, unfortunately. It's not satisfying because it doesn't rationalize the pain we go through. It's much more satisfying for us to be able to connect some struggle we go through with some cause. But that's hard to do when something comes out of nowhere. And then we're left trying to figure God out.
Saint Peter gives us the right way to suffer so that we don't go crazy or become depressed trying to understand the unscrutable: suffer well by committing yourself to the Lord and doing good. (1 Peter 4:19)
It starts by realizing God knows you through and through. He knows what you need, he knows you as a father knows his child. And that is important because we are children compared to God. We don't understand him just like a small child may not always understand the grown up parent. It means there is room for faith and trust. And God is worthy of that because God gave himself to save us from sin. God gave his body and blood to rescue us from sin and hell. We can trust in him because he has saved us.
And with trust comes acceptance, with acceptance comes perseverance. And while we persevere, we look for the good that we can do, the good that God would have us do, even as we suffer. This isn't looking for diamonds in the mud, this is hoisting the cross firmly onto your shoulders, accepting it and understanding that we can still serve God by loving him and loving our neighbor.
Finally, there's hope. The pain isn't forever. The pain is only for now. Our momentary troubles will soon be over when we reach eternal life. Until then, the Lord will help us accept the precious cross so we can suffer well.
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